Parenting Skills - W06 Final Project: Parenting Blog

Fabrice Tshiyoyi Banyingela

Professor Michelle Donner

Parenting Skills

30 May 2021

Parenting Interview

            While both parents and children strive to understand each other clearly, often, parents find excuses for authority while children fight to be recognized. It is a well-known fact that the relationship between parents and children in the world has been stress throughout their lives. Even with the rise in the number of pediatricians and psychologists, parents battle to come out of the state of deception and children feel disappointed. This is not to say that parents should stop trying, but to say that the efforts to put in place to shape the child’s pathway require a positive grit and might take several years.

            Some parents have lost hope and many are still optimistic. The wonderful cure here is persistence. Persistence requires energy that differs from single, younger, all the way to older parents. Parents’ health needs to be at azimuth for the benefit of their children. In most families, parents care more about what is essentials for themselves and leaving the non-essentials for later in order to cater to their children. Speaking of non-essentials needs, Seipati Tabudi, a single mother and Managing Director of Puissano Consulting said this:

As a young parent, you get to a point where you feel that you have to put yourself at the back and prioritize your children so that they don’t repeat the same mistakes you have committed.

Parents should take real care of themselves in order to attend promptly to their children.           

Parenting is a complicated journey. Kids are different, kids are the same we say. But their ability will vary from one child to another. They are born with their unique temperament which parents must take into consideration when dealing with them. From time to time, parents will need to develop different approaches for different children. This can only be effective after a serious observation has taken place. On becoming a parent for the second time, most parents tend to force their children to act the same way which in return frustrates both sides. Afrida Kamanga an LDS Church Relief Society leader recalled her set of twins and said:

Their needs, strengths, and weaknesses are all different. Based on that, you can parent them accordingly. One gets sick easier than the other, one needs fewer hours to prepare for a mathematics exam while the other twin needs more, and so on. These stats help me know exactly how to guide them where they lack.

Parents must deal with children individually. Children’s mood changes from time to time. They might feel happy today and then sad the next day. Parents are required to observe them constantly in order to find opportunities to teach them how to deal with their stress, feelings, and attitude.

            Parents are not perfect. They learn their children like books for the rest of their lives. Be it a large or small family, it is usually frustrating to be a parent for the first time but the situation changes with time from the first to the last child. On the arrival of the next child, most parents see the situation as having the sun and moon in the same room. But with time, parents' perception changes. Tebogo Senosi a sales specialist and CEO of Legacy Business Consulting said:

Parents should relax and let the children grow and develop their own hobbies. Trust them, allow them to make mistakes but be available to teach them, to talk to them. Avoid children seeing you as a threat. Let a child be a child.

It is a sacred responsibility that parents have to nurture to their children physically, emotionally, and spiritually. For that, parents need to learn how to deal with their different children in different ways.

            To build a united team and gain children’s trust, most parents resort to bribery. They tend to promise children things they won’t be able to afford each time the child will need them. Parents should avoid using illogical rewards or punishment on their children. A child who forgets all the time to do homework should rather be asked to go to the library and read a version of the corresponding book rather than being grounded at home. Reading a book becomes a logical punishment. Parents’ praises to children should also be logical to avoid children's misinterpret the focus. Praises should be sincere and honest with one single goal to lay a firm foundation on the child’s character in order to prepare him for the future when he has to make personal decisions.

            In reality what parents want for their children is to see them succeed. To see the boys and girls arise from the dust and becoming men and women the world will count on. Parenting is rewarding. Afrida Kamanga goes on and believes that if you can get one problem solved in your child’s behavior or attitude toward life then you will know that you have done your part and that the child knows what is expected of him. Parenting is also stressful. Seipati Tabudi screamed and threaten her son and daughter, and recalled that nothing came out of it. Tebogo Senosi stressed of peer pressure. A lot is happening outside the house. She worried about the level of protection parents should have when their children are away from their home and questioned "will they always listen to you?" Only a peaceful environment of dialogue created by parents allows the children to speak freely. Parents should live understanding the first article of the United Nations that All Human Beings are born free and equal in dignity and rights. They are endowed with reason and conscience and should act towards one another in a spirit of brotherhood. 

Works cited

United Nations. Universal Declaration of Human Rights. United Nations, n.d., https://www.un.org/en/about-us/universal-declaration-of-human-rights#:~:text=Article%201,in%20a%20spirit%20of%20brotherhood. Accessed 29 May 2021

Kamanga, Afrida. Interview. Conducted By Fabrice Banyingela, 29 May 2021

Tabudi, Seipati. Interview. Conducted By Fabrice Banyingela, 29 May 2021

Senosi, Tebogo. Interview. Conducted By Fabrice Banyingela, 29 May 2021